Mother of the Bride driving you mad?!
We all love our Mums, but sometimes they can try and take over, especially when it comes to your Wedding. Does this sound familiar? They want to choose your dress, they are telling you who you should and shouldn’t invite, they want to have an opinion on everything you choose, they are rushing you with your plans, they feel they are the only person that should be involved and help plan?
Don’t panic! You are not alone, there are mothers everywhere doing the exact same thing! It is because they love you and want to give you the best day possible but how can you control the situation without going mad and ending up having an argument, or worse, not wanting her involved at all?
Here are a few tips:
Give Mum a job to do
Your Wedding is the most important day of your life to you, but it is also very important to your Mum. She is watching her little girl grow up and she just wants to be involved. That’s all it comes down to, she wants to feel she is a part of the whole process. So to make her feel a part of it all, but also to keep her from interfering you can give her little jobs that are important to the wedding but something you don’t have to worry about too much or something that will save you time and effort.
- Addresses – You will need addresses to send all your save the dates and invitations. This can be a long process if you haven’t got any. So get your Mum on the case, no doubt she will have a lot of your family member’s addresses already.
- Favours – If you want favours for all of the guest at the reception why not get your Mum to sort it all out, you will need lots of them and it will give her a chance to inject her ideas. But you have the final say. This will keep her busy for quite a long time.
Keep her in the loop
Does your Mum keep asking what’s happening? You need to do this and you need to do that? You haven’t got long? Why has this not been done? Well you can stop all of this by telling her your plans straight away, tell her when you intend to book different suppliers, when you have booked them where you are with your planning and when appointments have been made. If you keep her up to date when it all happens you won’t get all of the questions. It comes back to her just wanting to feel involved.
Make her feel special
There is no doubt the person who should feel most special is you and your fiancé – it’s your big day, but your Mum wants to feel special too. She is so proud of you and wants to show you off and feel important on the big day. So give her attention when it is her turn to find her an outfit. Plan a whole day or a few days to go shopping and make it all about her. Also make sure to invite her to your appointments when choosing your dress and bridesmaid’s dresses. But before you go, you need to make it clear that you respect her choice and what she envisions you in, but at the end of the day it is YOUR choice and YOUR decision.
After the big day
There’s a tip we give to quite a few mums of both brides and grooms. If they are involved in the wedding, it can take up a lot of their time and keep them very busy. However, after the big day, when the happy couple are maybe away on their honeymoon, it can sometimes be a big jolt back to reality – no more plans to make or things to book. So treat ‘Mum’ too. Maybe book a nice meal out for the weekend after the wedding or even a little weekend away for them to look forward to as well – the bride can’t have all the fun, Mum’s worked hard too!
The main thing to remember is your Mum just wants the best Wedding you can have and that may come across as pushy and controlling. But if you just make her feel involved, you will both have a wonderful, exciting and special time planning your big day.